In our Christian walk, we experience different seasons in our relationship with God. Sometimes, we are in a season of harvest where we are very blessed and life is pretty easy-going. In harvest time, things in life really seem to be going right. Other times, we are in a season of walking through the wilderness. Many big players in the Bible experienced this season. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah, one of the great prophets, flees to the wilderness after being threatened by Jezebel who was the queen of Israel during this time. Before David became King of Israel, Saul and his army searched for David and his men to kill them in Samuel 23. David sought refugee in the wilderness from Saul’s army. After being baptized, Jesus, himself, was tested by Satan in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights (Matthew 4). Evidently, the wilderness is a season of tests and trials for the believer. We all experience these different seasons. God designed these to grow our faith and to teach us during these times. Each season has its own purpose.
I’m sure each of us, as believers, has heard a message about seasons at some point in our lives. Many of us have gained valuable knowledge during these times. I, myself, just walked out of a wilderness season in which I was being tested. However, the purpose of this post is not to discuss what these seasons are or how they resolve (I’d rather not be redundant). But I am hope to encourage you and your spouse with some revelation and insight my husband and I have been receiving lately.
Currently, Christian and I are experiencing, even though we are married and one, we are currently walking through different seasons in our own personal walks with God. I believe this commonly happens in Christian marriages. I’m not talking about one person not being saved or being unequally yoked. Sometimes, God is teaching your husband or wife a different lesson than you at a given time.
For us, I believe we are in a season of plowing as a couple and as a family. We are both working full -time, our son is almost 10 months (babies are A LOT of work… can I get an amen?), and serving in our church. However, Christian’s work schedule makes it difficult for him to attend church right now. He still prays and has a relationship with God, but its just been challenging for him to get fed. He feels he is in a dry season with God. Right now for me, I’m experiencing a season of being filled up. I’m attending church frequently, volunteering for church retreats, and getting more and more pumped up and on fire for God. Thankfully, God has blessed me with a job that allows me to do all this.
Am I a better Christian than my husband, because I’m in an overflow season and he’s in a dry season? No. God has a plan for each of us as individuals right now that will translate into His purpose for us as a couple. He’s doing a new work in each of us. But I do find myself asking God, how can I be helpful to my husband as he’s experiencing this different season from me?
Here are a few tips that have helped Christian and me better communicate and serve each other as we walk through different seasons.
- Recognize the season you are in and then recognize the season your spouse is in – Knowing the place each of you are at in your spiritual walk will help you better be able to serve your spouse. If you are not sure, ask God. For the Bible says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7. God promises to answer our prayers if we intend them with the right heart.
- Do not lecture – as I mentioned, my husband has hard time attending church on the weekends because he is working. He currently is working the day shift at his job and has the evenings after 3 p.m. off. The other day we planned on attending the Saturday night church service at 5 p.m., but Christian got sick and we did not go. I could have nagged him, gave him a hard time, and told him he should have made himself go and he would have gotten healed. But what would that have done? It would have caused discord and strife. I wouldn’t be witnessing to my husband. I would be disrespecting him and giving him a guilt trip for something outside of his control!
- Pray for your spouse – as husbands and wives, we should always be lifting each other up in prayer. You are the greatest intercessor for your spouse (other than JC of course). Ecclesiates 4 :9-12 says, “two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” It is clear that we should each be lifting each other up when the other is down (or in a dry season) and keeping the threefold cord between you, your spouse, and God strong.
- Find ways to help your spouse in this season, if they need it – your husband or wife may not or may not know how to ask for help during this time. While my husband is going through this dry season, I try to recommend podcasts for him to lesson to and bring him CDs from our church’s weekly sermons. These may be small acts of service but they help him a lot and give him encouragement. The ways you help your spouse in each season of their walk may look different but we are called to serve each other in the way Christ came to serve us (Mark 10:45).
We hope these helpful tips can allow you and your spouse to grow and better communicate while you two walk through different seasons with God. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to comment or email me! Be blessed. We love you!
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